i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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