She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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