I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
