It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize