In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
