i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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