how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize