On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
