Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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