But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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