I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize