My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
