am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
