She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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