hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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