True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
