just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
