I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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