I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
