How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
