Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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