My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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