the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
