Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
