You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
