I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.