Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.

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  (312): sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought. http://tfl.nu/msp2
  Replies (20) Good night (885) Bad night (2308)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus

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  (202): respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus http://tfl.nu/nfd9
  Replies (26) Good night (947) Bad night (3692)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets

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  (609): That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets http://tfl.nu/cuwg
  Replies (18) Good night (2564) Bad night (931)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.

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  (803): so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal. http://tfl.nu/ov2w
  Replies (61) Good night (1018) Bad night (6651)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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  (630): hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister? http://tfl.nu/p7gf
  Replies (15) Good night (5338) Bad night (1760)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....

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  (225): Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss.... http://tfl.nu/pts0
  Replies (16) Good night (4681) Bad night (1042)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

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  (404): And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT. http://tfl.nu/u1ny
  Replies (26) Good night (5554) Bad night (852)
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  (845): View more from New York

  So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing

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  (845): So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing http://tfl.nu/1y41
  Replies (5) Good night (6598) Bad night (1050)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

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  (774): there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours? http://tfl.nu/8xmr
  Replies (7) Good night (4075) Bad night (876)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.

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  (540): If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year. http://tfl.nu/169q
  Replies (9) Good night (2975) Bad night (959)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job

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  (435): For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job http://tfl.nu/nykr
  Replies (7) Good night (2259) Bad night (651)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.

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  (309): We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica. http://tfl.nu/qw7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1505) Bad night (474)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.

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  (818): I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car. http://tfl.nu/zey7
  Replies (11) Good night (532) Bad night (1298)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.

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  (218): He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small. http://tfl.nu/riyf
  Replies (17) Good night (410) Bad night (2593)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

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  (307): Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? http://tfl.nu/jvqk
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (338)

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