while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize