3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
