It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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