My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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