You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
