brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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