dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
