It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
