Midget sex pt 2 tonight
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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