Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
