I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
