All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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