I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
