I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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