Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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