so that wasnt chicken after all
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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