Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
