Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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