bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
