The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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