So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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