I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize