You work out of a Hotel?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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