You really coming over, don't trick.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
