Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
