God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
