you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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