I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
