I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
