I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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