Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
