I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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