Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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