I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
