so that wasnt chicken after all
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
